Mealtimes in our house are always abit stressy ...Honey our munchkin has always been a good eater but has the concentration of a goldfish when it comes to sitting and eating ....
Ive taken to giving her a meal at around 2 ish because lucky for us Honey absolutely loves her sleepy night nights ..and come 6.30 she is almost begging to go to bed ...
So trying to get food inside her has to be done earlier on in the daytime ...Breakfast nearly always consists of toast with either Jam or just butter ..followed by dry cereal ...which nearly always ends up all over the front room floor (much to my annoyance)
Breakfast time is easy ....i can prepare it in seconds and leave her to it ..but when it comes to mealtimes i am always racking my brains as to what to give her ..ham sandwiches , cheese sandwiches and when i am feeling politically correct endless amounts of square cut (and peeled mind) cucumber (just how the toddler clubs prepare it) fruit, crisps, grapes ,cheese and apple but after a while even this cornucopia wowness of food seems dull and boring to a toddler and eventually it leads to "NO I DON'T WANT IT " or "I WANT CHOCOLATE"
So imagine my delight when i suggested to honey "how about chicken and noodles" (spotted in the £1 dinner section in Iceland) and she agreed to it... HURRAH!!
So far so good ..the first battle was won ...shes agreed to have it ...now we get home ..
"mum i want ice cream"
here comes bargaining no.1 - "Honey you can have ice cream after you have eaten your chicken and noodles " ...
next .....
"mum i want my chicken and noodles now "
I'm thinking this really is good ,she really does want it shes even asking for it what a result .
First lie coming up "OK Honey, just a sec , its cooking at the moment wont be long promise "
I look on the packet ..oh no! 4 Min's for that bit then 6 Min's for that bit ... does it mean put that bit in for 4 Min's and then the other bit for 2 making it a total of 6 Min's? or do you put that bit in for 4 and then ......oh bugger WHAT DOES IT MEAN !!!!! ..ill do it like that first so it totals 6 Min's ....
Meanwhile
"mum ..wheres my chicken and noodles ?"
Lie no.2 "its on its way wont be long"
4 Min's later ping!!! check ..OK that looks cooked so now i have to add these for another 2 Min's right to make it a total of six ...
In the meantime I'm tidying away and i catch a glimpse of the outer box of the chicken and noodles ...cooks in ten minutes .....hm mm i think to myself ..that must be for like a really inferior rubbish microwave that takes 3 years to heat a bowl of soup not like our state of the art Tesco microwave ...
"mum ..wheres my chicken noodles ?"
Lie no.3 "nearly done honey " PING !! check contents of the microwave ....SHIT !!! its still frozen it was meant to go in for 10 Min's ....OK shove it back in for a further 4 Min's ...
"mum i want my noodles i want my noodles "
Lie no. 4 "OK honey yes on a second now then its done"
"can i have chocolate"
Now bargaining "no Honey chocolate after noodles "
All of a sudden there is a huge explosion from the microwave ...I'm dreading what is going to bestow my eyes when i open it ..because i really don't want to be cleaning it...but to my utter amazement the noodle packet was what had exploded and fantastically presented itself on the plate without me having to wear asbestos gloves and attack it with a pair of scissors yet another result today.
"mum wheres my noodles , can i have ice cream please ?"
"Its done now honey but you will have to wait till its cooled down"
"but mum i want it now..." , " can i have some ice cream" by now i am really starting to think cheese and ham sandwiches are my best friends
"no Honey , Ice cream after chicken and noodles "
"and chocolate mum "
Lie no.5 "yes and chocolate honey "
Eventually it cools down ....it gets adorned onto another plate ..one that is designed specifically for a child ..in the hope it will make the child look at it more interestingly because it has chickens on it ...hm mm!!!
Now fun begins ....
" mum i don't want it "
"c'mon Honey try some"
"NO"
" just a bit "
"NO"
At this stage I'm eyeing up the washing up and thinking maybe if i leave her to it she will miraculously eat it
so off i trot to the sink ....i turn and look and BINGO!! i see her picking through the noodles hooking out some chicken and eating it ...then off she goes off her chair wondering around ...then back to the chair ..has another pick then wonders around ...so I'm thinking ok shes not sitting still but at least shes eating " turn my back to the sink ..next thing...
" MUM I've finished " i look round and theres honey by my side cartoon chicken plate in hand and smile on face
" can i have some ice cream now ? "
Bribery No.1 "if you have 5 mouthfuls of this Honey then you can have ice cream "
"hhhmmm ...OK "
I'm thinking ...OK this is working
first mouth goes in ....great ...shes eating it ...then off she gets off the chair has a wander about back she comes ...mouth still full ...secretly tries to spit out ...
this scenario carries on till eventually i do get 5 VERY full mouthfuls down my daughters throat ...but after all this i am left thinking ...i reckon ill just stick with the sandwiches in future ...LOL ....
Oh by the way i didn't forget the ice cream heaven forbid
I've Finished ..Hurrah !!!!!!
